The Love of Your Life Is a Hoarder, Now What?!!

So you have found your perfect match! You love taking long slow walks at the Corning Preserve, you frequent the Albany Public Libraries and get lost among the stacks together, and you both love to explore art and culture at First Friday’s in Troy. Life is bliss. You have a house in Albany, Schenectady, or Troy and CANNOT wait to wake up to this beautiful face every morning over a plate of waffles. 

One problem: You are a neat freak, S(he) is a slob.

When you envision your happily ever after it is amidst the great chaos of a slob—their towering piles which sometimes defy gravity (sometimes crash to the ground), their propensity to leave their clothing close at hand (read: all over the floor), and their LOVE of clutter!!  DO NOT LET YOUR MISMATCHED STYLES DETER YOU FROM RELATIONSHIP HARMONY.

According to A Simple Choice there are three types of people. Filers, Pilers, and Messies. Filers are naturally neat and have little trouble keeping things organized. They make sure all their belongings are properly stowed in a sensible location. It’s just their personality. (Lucky them!) Pilers on the other hand, love to see their things around them and grouped in piles. It is their natural style and they don’t mind the aesthetic of it. The problem, according to the author’s friend, Karen Jogerst, is when pilers get confused and try to be filers. Herein lies the problem.

SOLUTION #1: Know which type you are (Here is a handy Better Homes and Gardens’ quiz to help you determine which you are, in case you do not already know.) Know which type your significant other is, too.  Is he/she a piler masquerading as a filer and failing miserably? If so, you can remedy this situation by helping your loved one learn how to work WITH their natural style. Here is the original blog post on the topic of pilers, filers, and messies, to help you.

SOLUTION #2: Divide household tasks based on both proficiency and enjoyment. If you LOVE washing the dishes, you should wash the dishes! Likewise if you are innately better at it, hate how your partner does it, or have really specific needs for how it is done.  Why expect your honey to learn your way? Leave the tasks they do well to them. Love is not a 50-50 proposition and neither is housework. If each of you assume responsibility for the tasks you are best at or really enjoy doing (YES- some people LIKE doing the laundry) there will be more happiness and less misery in maintaining your home. Still, there will be some housekeeping tasks leftover that neither of you enjoys. Which brings us to…

SOLUTION #3: Hire Someone. This makes sense from both a wellness perspective and a financial one. Isn’t Suze Orman always mentioning this? If you can hire someone to do a job for less than it would cost you to do the same job (at your own hourly rate) HIRE someone to do it!! This applies to pool cleaning, house cleaning, car cleaning, yard work, dog walking and any other assorted personal drudgery.  Some people love to clean and do housekeeping. But some hate it.  So if your partner is one of these haters, protect your marriage. Don’t assume all the responsibility for a clean house yourself (and become resentful) and don’t try to make your honey into a neat freak housekeeper (this will fail). A simple call to Dorina (518-542-1458) at Housekeeping-Specialist of Latham, NY can help safeguard your relationship and sanity. Let Dorina pick up the slack! (And the slacks)

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